So, is today the day...

...i get fired?  The Boss is back.  Want a drink so bad.

My Life is Going Down The Toilet

I am losing control of everything.  My life is a mess. The only thing that will stop all of this pain is to end it all.  I just can not go on like I am doing and I don't know what to do to fix it.

Why is Harder to Quit Smoking....

...than it is to quit drinking?  I just can't stop smoking for more than an hour.  It just consumes my every waking thought.  I can quit drinking for a couple of days with out the obession.  What is it?

It is Monday Again!

I have gone two whole days without a drink.  Let me amend that.  I found some bottles that I had hidden in a drawer that had a little bit of booze left in them (I keep finding empty bottles everywhere).  Combined them all together and just barely filled a cap of one of the bottles.  I drank it.  Did nothing for me.  Still sober.  Picking up cigarette butts in the street.  Smoking them.  I am on a real trip aren't I?  Well today is going to be an adventure.  Let see where it will go.  Just hope that I do not drink today. 

It's Sunday. Weekends Fly By!

Well today is Day 2 of not drinking.  I have a 7 PM AA meeting tonight.  It is also my first day of not smoking.  I have to stop drinking and smoking for health reasons, but I do not want to give either one of them up.  BUT, I must.  I have no money to buy either booze or smokes.  I am a drunk and I admit it.  I have spent all of my money on booze and cigarettes and now I can not pay my bills. I am on my way to being homeless.  I need to find another job, but no one wants to hire a 60 year old.  I can't even get a job at McDonalds.  No unless I was under 40 and spoke little or no English. 

Need to start blogging again

My life is such a mess.  I need to get my head on straight.  My life needs to be turned around.  I know what I want.  I just do not know how to get there. I am lost and I am getting in my own way.