Day 94 Selfish

Yesterday, I could nof believe how selfish I waa.  Wondering why God was not leaving me cigarette butts to pickup and smoke?  Really?  What is wrong with me.  What can I do today to help someone else?

Day 93 nothing

I have nothing. Just surviving.  NOTHING NOTHING except GOD..  I believe give me faith!

Day 92 Day Off

What do I do with myself today.  Clean my apartment for one.  Work on my smoking addiction. Definitely going to meetings. 

Day 91 Depressed

Too impatient for things to happen.  Working at a job I do not like.  Still I appreciate that I have it.  Must change my disposition to positive. 

Day 90 WOW!!

Day 89 Thank You God

Your humble servant.  The Kool Aid is kicking in.  It is a good thing. 

Day 88 Still Sober Leading A

Boring life.  God in your hands I place my life. 

Day 87 - 08.31.12

Last day that I will be working for the non profit.  I am on a strange journey that I don't know where it is leading me.  I am being led by God somewhere.  Need to put my faith and trust in his hands.

Day 86 The will be done

Into to your hands I commend my body, my soul, my fate.

Day 85 Mixed Bag of Emotions

Trying to "let it go."

Day 84 Mantra seems to work

Let it go and give it up to HP.  Now to stress about the IRS.

Day 83 Things Work Out!

Amazing what I stress over.  Let it go.  Seems to work best.  Now onto the rent and IRS stress.

Day 82 Motto for the Day

Let it go and shut up.  It is what it is.  In God's hands.

Day 81 Day of Reckoning

No expectations here. 

Day 80 The hits keep on coming

Enough said. 

Day 79 still here. Chickened out

I don't want to die, but don't want to live.  I just don't want to exist. 

Day 78 just want to kill myself

...buy a gallon of vodka after the AA meeting and drink it all at once?  Will that do the trick?  Liquor store is open till 11.  Plenty of time to buy it.  Unless I get a better offer from God, sounds like a plan to me.

Day 77 This will be the day...

...that I die.  Bye, bye American pie, this will be the day that I die.

Day 76 ST. JUDE HELP ME

PLEASE!!!

Day 75 I give up

I surrender.  I can't do it anymore.

Day 74 Life SUCKS

I WISH I WAS DEAD!!

Day 73 Financial Merry-go-Round

Is still going around.  GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING RIDE!!!!!!

Day 72 Grateful

Have to remind myself of what I have not what I don't have.  Easier said than done.

Day 69 I just plain give up

Enough said.  Can't get off this ride. 

Day 68 Thy Will Be Done

Do with me as you will. Give me the strength.

Day 67 Happy Birthday America

Happy Shit Day to me. Another day on this crazy ride that I can't get off of.  When will it stop.  WHEN??

Day 66 St. Jude Help Me...

...PLEASE.  SHOW ME HOW I CAN PAY BACK.  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!

Day 65 What does today have in store for me?

What will come my way today?  Only God knows.  Just hope to go with the flow.

Day 64 Things Are As Bad As They Seem

I need a full time job.  I and working more and making less.  Does that make any sense?  I am not drinking.  I am sober.  I get it.  When will I catch a break.  60 years old and I am miserable.  I know others have it worse than me.  I do appreciate what I do have.  I don 't want a lot of money.  I just want to get off this mad ride.