Day 155 still sober and miserable

Day 154 sober

3,696 hours sober
221,760 minutes sober
13,305,600 sober

What numbers, but who is counting.  Talk about living in the here and now.

Day 152 sober still.

Day 150 Happy Birthday Ma

Love you and miss you.

Day 149 Who am I and...

...why am I here? More importantly, where am I going?

Day 148 feeling down

Actually feeling miserable.

Day 147 show me the way.

God, I do not want to drink today.  If I do, please kill me.  Why am I here. Why can't I just not be.

Day 145 The REAL DAY 145

My day count was off but now on track.  Getting complacent?  Nothing to post today.  Need to get back to basics.  Thank you.

Day 145

Thy will be done, not mine.  HUMILITY.

Day 144 ST JUDE, PLEASE MAKE ME GET

IT.  I REALLY NEED THIS JOB!!!!

Day 141

Thy will be done, not mine.

Day 140 there for the grace...

...of God go I.  Where I am going?  Only God knows.

Day 139 GOT TO FUCKING STOP SMOKI.H

Why is it so hard?  Can not afford it in more ways than one.

Day 140 The world does not revolve

around you.  STOP PROJECTING.  LIVE IN THE HERE AND NOW.  Just be you.  God is running the show.

Day 137 God help me get it.

God my faith, trust and love are with you.  Let me remember that through out today.

Day 135 Graditude

Honesty and graditude for next 24 hours.

Day 134 continued...

MAOA, I forgive you too. I am letting go my resentment.  Letting go.

Day 134 I forgive you

Brett Rome.  Blamed you for the beginning of all my troubles.  Drink was the cause of ALL of my troubles.  I can see that clearly now.   i will pray for you today and then let it go otherwise this resentment will eat me alive.

Day 133 Letter to Mummy

Dear Ma,

I am so sorry for all of the crap I put you through.  I am so sorry for hurting you with my words and deeds.  I know you loved me and always forgave me, but those words said caused you pain.  Words and pain can not be taken back.  I am truly sorry for that.  I wish you were here to see me get sober.  Are those pennies from you?  I hope you are resting in peace with God.  I miss you. 

Love,
Yoli

Day 131

Nothing.  Ok.

Day 130 Still Sober

Thy will is my will.  Thy will be done.  Grateful to be alive and sober, have a job to gk to, God is in my life.  Help me to do the and say the right things today.

Day 129 Why Can't I catch a Fucking Break

Working at a job doing shit work for shit wages.  Struggling and never getting ahead.  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.  Why am I sober. Every thing keeps getting worse.  Ok, pitty party over.  Time to pay the piper.

Day 128

Humility and ANONOMINITY.

Da 127 worry worry worry worry

Worry.  That is all I do. Still think about ending it all.

Day 126 thank you God

Grant me serenity.  Give me what I need, not what I want.