Day 459 - Today Makes it One Week in Key Largo

Wow! 7-days have passed! I am still here and the world keeps on turning. The world will keep on turning whether or not I am here. Went to the career counselor yesterday. Met with Gil. Put me up on a positive note. Hope I can keep the positive momentum going. I applied for 2 jobs through the State agency. Hoping for the best. Must keep looking though. My full time job for now is to find a job. I do not want to wear out my welcome here. Right now all of this is new for me, my sister and brother-in-law. I know I am adapting and they are adapting to me. I am sure having me here has been a hugh adjustment for them. I am trying to stay out of their way as much as possible. I just do not want to be a burden to them or to anyone. Thank God for my sister! She has saved my life. I do not know how I can ever repay her and Brad.

Day 458 Trying to Find My Place

I am still feeling like a visitor here. I think it is bothering my sister. I really haven't unpacked my suitcase yet. Perhaps I will do that today. I applied to 3 jobs yesterday. I have not checked out the job listings for today yet. I have an appointment with a career counselor at a State job board this afternoon. The one thing that I have feared has come true: there isn't any real public transportation to get around Key Largo. I did not want to be come dependent on people to get me to and from places, but I will adapt to that and figure it out. Otherwise, everything else is working out well. Too well, my fear of the other shoe dropping will not go away. Need to build my self confidence and trust that the Lord has me here for a reason. The biggest challenge today will be to cross Highway 1 on foot to get across the street to my appointment with the career counselor this afternoon.

Day 457 Fustration

I know I am getting frustrated. All of my stuff is in transit and I am "borrowing" everything. I am not complaining. i will get used to it. I have to get use to it. I do not have a choice. Just thinking what my alternatives could have been (homeless shelter or dead), I have no right to complain. I am truly grateful to be here in Key Largo alive and living with my sister. Just trying to make it one day at a time. Grateful for what I have and not wishing for things i do not have.

Day 456 Key Largo Is My Home

Everything is going smoothly. It scares me. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can't believe how happy I am. I have no material wealth, but I am blessed beyond words.

I now have a  Florida driver's license, registered to vote. Doing things a little bit at a time. I am truly appreciating what I have. I am truly grateful for the simple things.

Thy will, not mine, be done.

Day 453 Made it to Key Largo!

Made it safely to Key Largo. My new home. Lillie showed me around a little yesterday. May be spending today to set up my Florida identity.

Day 452 The Day Is Here!

I can't believe that this day has finally arrived! Tonight I will be sleeping in Key Largo.

Movers showed up at 8:30. By 12:30 everything was packed up and loaded on the truck. My "stuff" is now on its way to Key Largo. Hopefully it will get there at some point.

We could not get hotel room for last night.  So Lillie and I spent my last night in Boston sleeping on a mattress on the floor of the apartment. It was not too bad. Actually kind of fun. Gave us a chance to bond and get closer. I am so grateful for her. She is saving my life.

Well we are on a 5 pm flight. The weather is picture perfect. God is with us. What could be better?

I really moving!

Tomorrow is the beginning of my new life!

Day 451 Moving Day!

Waiting for the movers to show up! 8:37am not here yet.

Movers here at 9 am. They are shrink wrapping all of thefurniture. Wonder how longt they will take.

Day 450 Oh Oh A Wrinkle in the...

...ointment. Can't find a hotel room for our last night in Boston. What is going on in this town? No rooms to be had at any price within a twenty mile radius.  I think we may be sleeping on the floor tomorrow night!

Day 449 Busy Packing Up

Lillie arrived safely. We have been busy packing up my apartment and gettng rid of more stuff. It is more like letting go of stuff. Looking at the boxes, the last 62 years have been reduced to 35 boxes. But that is OK. It is just things. I would have preferred to walk away and leave it all behind. I have no material things and yet I have so much to be grateful for. I have God, AA, my sister, and true friends.  I have never been so happy in my life.  All of this does not comprehend in my head. I am always looking for the other shoe to drop. I can not wait to get to Florida.

Day 445 Lillie Arrives Today!

Day 444 It I really happening

I am going to be moving to Florida in  8 days! It is not going to hit me until Lillie gets here tomorrow. Why am always waiting for the other shoe to drop? Always have this feeling of impending doom?

Day 443 Miracles

They do happen! Thank you God for all your miracles. I am really blessed.

Day 442 Time is Speeding up.

Lillie will be here in 3 days! Still so much shit to get rid of. Running out of time. Procrastinating. 5 sylable word for sloth.

Day 440 Why do bad things...

...happen to good people?  No answer to that question. Look for the blessings. Eaiser said than done.

Day 439 Last Night's Meeting Was Distirbing

Don't know what was up. Meeting are getting crowded. Main purpose is to stop drinking, not to use it for my own personal agenda. Some people forget that. Me included.

Day 438 Feeling nothing

Que sera, sera

Day 437 - 15 more days..

...to Key Largo. Must not project too much into the future. Just have to make it through the next 24-hours doing the best I can and as much as I can.

Day 436 I am still here

In 16 days, I will be moving to Key Largo. My life as I have known it for the past 62 years will be changed forever.

Day 435, yes still here.

So tired of listening to myself. I just want the voices in my head to stop. To stop thinking about me.

Day 430 Still Here on this Planet

Back to killing myself is back on the table. Why do I keep thinking about that? WTF? Maybe because every time I turn around I bump into a disaster of my own creation?

HALT. Took care of hunger.. AL can control.  T lay down. No calvary coming to my rescue. No Lillie is. Need to grow up.

Day 429 Still here Still Sober

What is there to say. I am so tired. of hearing myself whine. Looks like I am really moving to Florida with Lillie. Thank you God for her. I am going to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

I have a love hate with this phone.