Went to an event last night. Chinese food. Woke up this morning in a cold soaking sweat around 3:30 am. Felt like someone threw a bucket of water on me. Felt sick to my stomach. From the Chinese food? Don't know. Forced myself to throw up and then went back to bed. Got up around 6:45 am. Felt a little better.
Boss wants to cut my check and pay me tomorrow or Tuesday. WTF? I need my money and I need it now. Cuts me a check before he leaves. Still do not have enough to pay my bills. What to do? At this moment in time, I don't give a fuck about it. I am just too tired to think about it. If I could get a job, even part time, that would relieve the stress, but no job in sight. I have applied just about every where. I would like to end it all, but I do not have the "balls" to do it myself. I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. Heading for a AA meeting at 5:30 today. What good these meetings do me? I don't know. I do as they say and "just keep coming."
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