Thursday, May 24, 2012

Day 26 Feeling Strange

Went to an event last night.  Chinese food.  Woke up this morning in a cold soaking sweat around 3:30 am.  Felt like someone threw a bucket of water on me.  Felt sick to my stomach.  From the Chinese food?  Don't know.  Forced myself to throw up and then went back to bed.  Got up around 6:45 am.  Felt a little better.

Boss wants to cut my check and pay me tomorrow or Tuesday.  WTF?  I need my money and I need it now.  Cuts me a check before he leaves.  Still do not have enough to pay my bills.  What to do?  At this moment in time, I don't give a fuck about it.  I am just too tired to think about it.  If I could get a job, even part time, that would relieve the stress, but no job in sight.  I have applied just about every where.  I would like to end it all, but I do not have the "balls" to do it myself.  I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.  Heading for a AA meeting at 5:30 today.  What good these meetings do me?  I don't know.  I do as they say and "just keep coming." 

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