Day 52 - Still Sober and My Life Still Sucks

I am grateful, but not as grateful as I should be.  I am working at 2 jobs that I abolutely hate.  I just wish I could just disappear.  Just not exist anymore.  I am so tired of this fucking life.  Do not have the courage to end it.  God keeps waking me up every morning.  I am depressing myself even further.