Day 560 - What the Fuck am I doing?

God, why am I still here. Going on 4 months living here. Just plodding along. Just existing. Count the hours until I go to bed, hoping I do not get up. But I do. Then counting the hours that I have to get up and start the "show" all over again, until I can go back and retire to my room. Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it and it may not be what you wanted after all. What is it that I want? That would be nice to know. I have been trying for 62 years to figure that out. Another 20 years of this? I don't know.