Day 614 - God saved me for this?

I get up in the morning and count the hours that I can go to back to bed. This a life? This is the life I was saved for? God why? I wish I had the guts to kill myself. It is getting pretty close. I can drown myself at the beach or run across US Route 1. Those were options that I did not have up in Boston. I can get lost in the Everglades and hope I get eaten by crockodiles or aligators. All I ever wanted was a job that I earned enough to pay my rent and have the basics. A fucking job was all that I needed. God this is your plan for me? God I am so tired of this shit.