Day 609 - Happy Fucking New Year!!!

Acceptance. I keep telling myself that. Killing myself keeps popping up. Has been popping up for the past 62 years. Too chicken to do any thing about it. Just whine and complain. That is all that I am good for. Just keep on plugging on. Being grateful. Yes I am. So restless. Need some sleep I think. Just fucking rambling on. Another day, another day of not knowing why I am here. If I could get the answer to that questions, maybe I can stop this incessant noise in my head. Self centered? I must be. Why am I always complaining. What the fuck is it going to take to make me happy? Serenity and peace, where is it. God, please answer me or show me a sign or the way to begin the path. I am just so fucking tired.