Day 596 - Christmas is Coming....

.....and there is nothing I can do about it. I am dreading it. Going to Atlanta, Shelly arrives tomorrow. I don't want to go to Atlanta. I don't want Shelly to come. I don't want to be here. I miss Boston. I really do, but I don't want to be there either. What the fuck do I want? I just do not want to be HERE in this world. It is just too much work. It is exhausting just thinking about it. I guess I will get through this, but I don't know what I will be like on the other end. Just as selfish and dissatisfied as I am right now I suppose.